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| I'm a very nostalgic person. There is no escaping that truth.
My kind of nostalgia is a different unique kind though. It's not so much that I would like to go back to those times because God knows how immature and ignorant I was ( more or less) than now.
I'd like to think of my life as a scrapbook.
Memories like photographs are pasted on smooth and crisp pages, in the back of my mind.
Only a quarter of the pages are filled but still all of the pages, even the blank ones are handstitched in and binded by
the richest leather exterior which is my experience. The exterior has a familiar scent that only I can close my eyes to and smile.
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| hold me in Your holy hands,
oh Lord what can I do now?
will you heal me and the deepest scars
that i've chosen to forget.
but first, break me more to remake me.
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| so i really don't know how to continue things i start (over again)
everytime i swear im gonna blog, i forget about it or try to write an entry and cancel it.
anywayyy, some things on my mind:
(bear with me, my thoughts are gonna be all over the place)
lately i've been really into studying and doing my work on time. surprise surprise?
mmm...dealing with financial aid has gotten the best of me. i hate issues dealing with money goodness.
it has come to my attention that it's already been 2 weeks since my birthday. Time is flying by so quickly, I don't know if I should be worried or excited.
my academic week is over. wooo~
last night ...or rather this morning, i came home at 4:30 after hanging out with ada and gloria and koryodang & nrb. hahaha it was fun until i got home. i tried to sleep cus I had an 8 am class today but was rudely awakened by a 6:30AM fire alarm....REALLY FRESHMAN? REALLY...what could you possibly be badly cooking at this hour?!
i bought 3 "slightly imperfect" hanes vneck tshirts today from this sketchy corner "great prices" convenience store. they are definitely imperfect but they fit.
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| i realized that i miss blogging.
i decided to continue writing in this one because it has all my memories stored in it.
i could look back on how i acted, reflect on who i was and work on who i am now.
last week, max and i went through our old xanga entries and read aloud the madd deep entries we wrote..
sometimes they werereally sad and others just overly dramatic.
we laughed at how prematurely mature we were at age 15.
anyway, things have been pretty good for me lately except for the fact that i'm up at 6 this morning.
im not exactly sure as of what to write because it's been a while since ive blogged. so ill list things as they pop into my head.
- i can't and will not believe that i'm a sophomore already. geez, they said college years went by quickly but...really ...REALLY?
- i am sooo craving something fatty and delicious but for reasons i cannot share right now, i cannot indulge in such things for a while :/
- i miss tibby so much. oh yeah, & my family too.
- i really hope that i get my work done this weekend. haha
- i'm really excited for later today ^^ again, for reasons i cannot share. keke
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| It feels weird to be updating xanga after I've ditched it for facebook...
and now, I've lost all components of any writing skills that I've acquired through the many essays that I had to bullsh*t my way through so that I could pass a class... (oh yeah & SAT's and college essays; which btw, were a TOTAL blastyblast) So, please bear with any grammatical faux-pas (s). haha
But something about having ended the high school chapter of my life, draws me back to this blogging site in which Ive expressed my most angry, emo, happy, confused, and immature rantings about life since the 7th grade. And today, I am ranting once more.
As I sit here, all the memories are starting to flood into my brain and hopefully they won't come out as tears; there were definitely many good times, a several bad times, and the inevitable awkward times [puberty].
Friends gained; friends lost, fights with parents, stress from school, occasional relationships...
And yet, I still have so much more to learn and experience. Sure these events for the last 17 (almost 18) years of my life have been important stepping stones which lead me to where I am today, but I still have, what? [hopefully] 70-80 more years to live? The events which I've thought were MAJOR at the time, will be so miniscule compared to the ones coming at me in the near, far future. When I am in my 50's, I'm pretty sure I won't care if all the boys want to flirt with one of my friends; as long as one of those boys isn't my husband, of course!
Ok, so this isn't exactly the most original or unique revelation I've had. And frankly, I'm sort of sick of myself for thinking I'm so experienced in life and that whatever I say is deep, hahahah w/e.
SO IN CONCLUSION!,.
I will be leaving for college next Friday, August 22, 2008.
I will miss everyone, including the SENIORS '08 ( SENIORITYYYY)
I hope that each and every one of yall succeed in your schools, and put your best effort forth to show your amazing talents which God has given you.
GOD BLESS~ <3
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